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Comfort & Fear

Here's an old blog post ... ( I often refer to my concept of comfort and fear)

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Comfort & Fear

Current mood: contemplative

Category: Life

What is the first that crossed your mind when you read the title of my blog? Maybe wondering what I am afraid of or what I am comfortable with. I've just been up thinking and analyzing life and decisions that I've made in the past.

So many times people , like myself, seek to accomplish great things... things like that job that pays you well or that brand new car.. or even a successful relationship with that right person,right?

But as I am sitting here thinking... what are the main things that keep us from going for things that we think that we want. I say "think" because a lot of times when obtain things that we "think" we want..we do know how to handle them. More or less because we aren't as ready as we think. But that's another blog for another day.

Once we receive the thing that we "think" we want..fear steps in. What do I mean? How many times have you met that perfect mate for you, but yet somehow they seemed too perfect? I mean he does everything and much more than what you could ever ask for. Now speaking from a female point of view.. how many times have we have a good man after us, but yet b/c we are afraid that he's too good.. we chase the emotionally unavailable man. We chase the man that only return your calls on occasion and throw our hands up at the man thats "too" nice. But let me get back to fear. You've got the good guy then fear rears its ugly head.. and all of a sudden you are looking for all the imperfections in him or that person. Right? I know that I have been a culprit of this myself.

Doesn't make sense does it?! No, it doesn't. I don't know how many times that I wished and prayed for a man that would hold me without me asking or someone that would just do thoughtful things for me. When this person presented himself to me.. what was the first reaction. Fear of getting hurt again...Hmmm.. but that's what I wanted,right?

Fear.. fear will keep you by yourself wondering why? Why can't I get the job of my dreams or own my own business..

At some point one has to recognize all the voices of fear and learn to conquer them. Stomp the voice in the back of your mind that's telling you that you could never do this or that. Or the voice telling you that you can't trust people or that all men/women are the same.

Now.. where does comfort come in to play with all of this? Fear will keep you from doing something, but comfort will keep you in a situation in which you know that you could be doing better. Comfort doesn't just have to physical it can be mental as well. You may get comfortable with being average and setting the ceiling for yourself. Which makes you comfortable. It keeps you in the same old job.. hanging out with the same old friends.. doing the same old things.. even in the same old relationship.Which in end gets you the same results and leaves you in the same place.

Yeah you may know in the back of your mind that you can do better, but you're comfortable right?! You may feel that you have to stick to what you are comfortable with, b/c that's what you deserve right. Then that's when fear pops up. Then comes the what if's..

We all know how that goes.

So what's my point of all this? Well.. I've gone through tremendous changes this year and still going through some. It took a couple of people to put the mirror to my face to help me some things about myself and a lot of self evaluation/soul searching to get to this point.

Do I still have more work to do? Yes.

If I have learned anything this year is to know and recognize fear and my own comfort level and not let it get in my way anymore.