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Mommy Time

It's 7:07 a.m. on a Monday morning and for the first time postpartum, I have been able to take an uninterrupted shower. I was not able to sleep after my baby girl's 4:45 feeding and I decided to go ahead and take a moment to shower. It felt good to have a moment to myself without feeling guilty or anxious about my baby girl crying or whining. My experience this morning helped me realize that per haps my husband is right about me needing to take a moment to myself. I am still adjusting to being a new mom and I haven't learned to juggle my responsibilities just yet. Plus I find it extremely difficult to not hold her and stare at her while she sleeps. I now realize that  it is very important for me to take the moments to myself, and that I shouldn't feel so guilty about needing a moment. I have been so consumed with the idea of trying to be the perfect mom & wife, I forgot that I am only human and that there is no such thing as perfection.

My experience this morning, though it may be a small task, felt really rewarding and refreshing!




Was one of the best days of my life. That is the day that I gave birth to my beautiful daughter.  She is truly a blessing after our long TTC journey.

This week was her sixth week.   She changes everyday and she grows so fast, which makes me sad and proud at the same time. I am afraid that if I blink that I will miss something. She is so smart and she definitely has her own personality and preferences at just six weeks old. I am excited to watch her grow and watch her develop as a person.

When I found out that I was pregnant, my plan was to blog each week to document my pregnancy. But, my pregnancy quickly reminded me that life doesn't always go as planned. I still plan to write a blog about my pregnancy soon. But, for now I just want to share my labor&delivery story.

  • I checked in to be induced at 8 a.m. that morning. My pregnancy was high-risk and I had to be induced at 38weeks. 
  • When I arrived at the hospital an IV was started and I received medicine to ripen my cervix and start my contractions. 
  • I labored the entire day & by the end of the day I had dilated 5cm.
  • I spent the day surrounded by family, friends and laughter. 
  • At the end of the day I was anxious for my water to break and get to the point where I could push. I was ready to meet my princess and eat something other than popsicles and ice chips. 
  • I decided to get the dreaded epidural at 4 a.m. in order to get some rest. I was more afraid of the pain associated with getting and epidural than I was of a natural birth.  In fact, if I would have had it my way, I would have had a natural birth; but my pregnancy taught me that things don't always go as planned. 
  • By the time that my doctor arrived at 10 a.m., I think I had dilated to about a 6cm. My doctor went ahead and broke my water.
  • I continued to labor throughout the day, and by 7 p.m. I was only dilated to 7 - 7.5 cm. By this time both my doctor and labor & delivery nurse decided that it was time for me to discuss my options. I had been in labor for over 24 hours and my uterus was tired. I physically and mentally tired. Ultimately I felt defeated at the possibility of having a c-section. I didn't want my baby girl to start to show signs of distress, she had been a trooper thus far. 
  • My husband and I had a tear-filled intimate converstation about our options and we decided to go with the c-section. I was tired. He was tired of seeing me exhausted and we were ready to meet our princess. 
  • We decided to have the c-section at 7 p.m. and the next 45 minutes of my life felt like a movie. There were so many people and things were moving so fast, yet so slow. It was very cold and bright in the room. I was being poked and prodded everywhere. I was taken back by the amount of people in the room and all of the orders and voices of the staff made my head spin. I just wanted a second to think and process a little longer about what was about to happen. I was so scared and jumpy. I remember pulling my oxygen line off of my nose a few times, I was bothered by it and at that point it was all I could control. Reality hit, I was about to have major surgery. I turned to my husband, and I was reassured by his love, words and encouragement. 
  • I don't know if it was the drugs or the temperature in the room, but I remember shaking and shivering tremendously. I felt the scrub techs clean and shave me. (Although I thought I did a pretty good job the night before I was admitted in the hospital) . I felt tugging, it felt almost the same as it did when they were cleaning my abdomen, and before I knew it I heard my doctor tell my husband to stand and that she was almost out. 
  • I remember my doctor announcing that she was here. Because of the drugs I wasn't  lucid, but I do remember anxiously waiting to hear her cry. When I heard her cry for the first time, it took my breath away. 

  • My baby girl  arrived at 7:45 p.m. and weighed 5lbs 15ozs and was 18'' long. 

  • I was not able to  see her right away, but I was happy that my husband was there to sing, talk and hold her. And he got really good footage and pictures. I was so proud of him. 
  • After what seemed like an eternity, they finally brought her to me. She looked like a little doll. As she laid on my chest she smacked and sucked on her hands and fingers and I fell in love with her again. 
  • As I lay in recovery, my princess and I had our time to bond skin to skin and breastfeed. I allowed the some of the remaining guest waiting in the lobby to come in a visit.
  • January 26, 2013 was one of the best days of my life. 
  • The rest of our hospital visit went smoothly, we were able to leave after 3 days.
My experience with both trying to conceive and my pregnancy taught me that you have to be open and that you can't plan everything. So, I didn't have an official birth plan. I went in with an open mind when it came to drugs and my overall experience. In my heart I wanted a natural experience with the least amount of medical intervention as possible. But, with having a high-risk pregnancy, I knew that the likely hood of having a natural experience was slim to none. The most important thing to me was to have a healthy baby that I could take home with me. 

Ultimately, my birth experience was perfect. My baby girl came into the world healthy and I had exceptional care with my doctor and labor&delivery nurses. I couldn't have asked for a better team. The support of my husband, family and friends made my labor easier. Their presence made the day full of love and laughter. 

I thank God everyday and night for the precious gift of a little girl that I was given. I feel honored and overwhelmed with joy with that He answered the prayers of me and my family. I find myself staring at her in amazement and I am intrigued at how much she has changed. 

My labor and delivery story wasn't the story that I envisioned, but I wouldn't change it for the world because it is our story that brought us our miracle.
Minutes after she was born.

First glimpse of her eyes
Her first smile caught on camera

Steak & Lobster Celebration dinner provided by the hospital